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THE AESTHETICS OF SUFFERING

By Christopher Soto

I’m his // retired slut // on food stamps // forever


Sniffing horse tranquilizer // seeing digital dreams


Like a kitten // with eyes sewn shut // like syzygy


This world // has tried to // kill me // for my beliefs


Once // I was chased // down the nude // avenue


Stalked & photographed // buying burner-phones


The cellophane sound of cyber threats // entropy


In the new brutal // black midnight // public crying


I’m speaking literally // I’ve lost obsidian // & a job


On the dark web // I’ve been harassed // scissoring


My femme queen // & he violins // a bit nervously


The sky a constellation of arrows // something gold


Feathered forgiveness // forgive me // for speaking


I spoke // smelling like dog piss & disappointment


Everyone hurt // spitting diamonds on // the sand


It was my fault.

Added: Friday, April 21, 2017  /  Previously published in "Tin House" (no. 70, November 2016). Used with permission.
Christopher Soto

Christopher Soto aka Loma (b. 1991, Los Angeles) is a poet based in Brooklyn, New York. He is the author of “Sad Girl Poems” (Sibling Rivalry Press, 2016) and the editor of Nepantla: A Journal Dedicated to Queer Poets of Color (Nightboat Books, 2018). In 2016, Poets & Writers honored Soto with the “Barnes & Nobles Writer for Writers Award.” He frequently writes book reviews for the Lambda Literary Foundation. His poems, reviews, interviews, and articles can be found at The Nation, The Guardian, The Advocate, Los Angeles Review of Books, American Poetry Review, Tin House, and more. His work has been translated into Spanish and Portuguese. He has been invited to speak at university campuses across the country. He is currently working on a full-length poetry manuscript about police violence and mass incarceration. He cofounded the Undocupoets Campaign and worked with Amazon Literary Partnerships to establish grants for undocumented writers. He received his MFA in poetry from NYU.

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